Do you know what? We all suffer. It isn't only you. That's why we seek for 'truth' 'god' 'liberation from suffering' 'nirvana'..... But, again but. What is that your are seeking for outside of you? Let your inner world open up. To do that you need to have friends other than humans. Be friends with books, music, art and nature. Be alone. Don't feel alone while alone. You have lots of friends around you.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
What I remember from India: peoples eyes, both adults' and children's. In their eyes I sometimes felt desperation, sometimes aggressiveness, sometimes fear, but all pure; dust which filled roads from the ground to the sky. In dust cows, dogs, goats and people live together in more or less same way; and cotton trees. I see cotton trees everywhere in here too. While driving my eyes often stay on cotton trees and remember India. There were cotton trees there too.
Friday, June 21, 2013
This is a short trip to Shanghai. I will be staying in my usual hotel Liston Songjiang for two nights. I actually do not understand why I have to go there while Isabella will be back in less than a week time. The plan is I will have to pack her belongings into boxes to store them in the storage. How? When? Where? Not clear. Isabella's school is a newly opened school. They are not so sure about lots of things themselves. Well. As I always say do things one at a time. We will eventually find ourselves at a certain spot from where we look back and notice we have achieved some things.
There are things we achieve on the paths in our life. Sometimes in a short while sometimes in a long time. For those things which take long to achieve we have to be gentle to ourselves and be patient. Always slow and steady. For those things which can be achieved in a short time be quick and be harsh to yourself. We have to be push ourselves to the edge to achieve anything. Go for 120 %, not 100 %.
- I have to leave now. This writing may be continued may be not. It depends all up to my mood.
Friday 21 June 2013 At the Hong Kong international airport.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
I couldn't sleep. My voice is gone. I have to study Sanskrit for tonight, but I know it's a luxury to think about Sanskrit now.
Yesterday a friend of mine passed away whom I haven't seen since some few years ago. He was a golf pro. He taught me golf. That was around 15 years back. As is usual for me he became my friend. When he needed my help I was there. When I needed help he was there.
Around 7-8 years ago he was in financial crisis. I offered an apartment for him to stay with his girlfriend. I thought it was going to be a temporary measure. Obviously it didn't turn out to be that way. I then met Nai, Richard's girlfriend. She is a kindred and hardworking girl. They had not been married until I somehow persuaded Richard to marry her. It was really a good thing for both of them that they married. They settled down in Hong Kong. They both acquired the permanent residentship. They remained a happily married couple since then.
He occasionally paid the rent. Sometimes regularly, sometimes rarely. It lasted this way a bit too long. It became then a problem to me. When I needed to sell the property. He wasn't too happy. I had to explain to Nai what was happening as she wasn't aware of him not paying rents to me. They then moved out. I didn't see him since. One day he called me. Nai made him call me. He appreciated for all I have done. He was apologetic about his tantrum he threw to me. I told him that it was fine with me.
That was the last talk I shared with him. I met Nai a few times, but not Richard. It just happened that way. I wasn't avoiding him. He might have avoided me. I don't know.
Yesterday late evening I got a phone call from Nai while driving back home. I couldn't drive. I had to stop the car and listened to her. It was too sudden for her. It was a shock to me. He was sick. But they didn't know that how serious his illness was. He was in and out of the hospital several times. But finally he couldn't make it.
Yes, there are lots of ifs here too as are in most of situations. If I had kept in touch with him I might have been able to save him. I didn't. He died. If they had called us when he had fallen sick we could have helped him. They didn't. He died.
Nai. She is there all alone. I met a few friends of hers last night. It was really good to see that she has caring friends around her. What can I do for her? I will probably talk to her after the funeral, after a few weeks later. I will ask her whether she would need any help. I pray that she survives through. I pray that I can be of any help.
I keep on thinking about what ifs, which is useless. I will put a stop on thinking about what ifs. Instead I will try to deal the situation in a more constructive way. Life goes on even in weal and woe.
In the morning of the 2nd of February, 2012.